Comments

Dear Alex I agree with everything you said. I wrote this song because a friend of mine wrote some music and wanted "help the world " as the theme. But as much as I had images in my head to write about, I have never felt hunger, or visited a third world country, so I definately lacked the personal empathy and passion in this song. Also, I`m highly medicated at the moment, because of my bipolar mood swings, and the pills are affecting my creativity. I should not even be pushing myself to write at this time. Thanks for your comment.

Posted by: Juliette Dubois on 3/17/2008, 12:11 AM

Juliette, this is Alex... you know that I am a big fan of yours and the emotion and passion that you infuse wholeheartedly into your work. I`m only discussing the lyric aspect of this piece. Once again, your heart is in the right place... I just feel, no, I know that you can do better with this sensitve and TIMELY subject you have chosen. I hope you know me well enough through our other exchanges that I will never criticize or offer my opinion unless I share with you exactly what it is that "bothers" me, even if that is or is not the right word to use.If I hadn`t seen your name attached to this piece, I probably wouldn`t have as much of an opinion as I do! The park bench and ghetto children took me a few reads to take my initial idea of the song away from a third world country child and Mother. The park bench nod brought me to where your story takes place... or maybe it leads me away. Malnutrition... is a word I would feel more comfortable with as a word in a poem or as a spoken piece. And THE main thing that sticks out to me is your description of what I believe to be this childs` Mother as a "wrinkled hag"... and maybe it`s just me, but that line `dehumanizes` the Mother and the plight that she is experiencing along with her child. I wanted to feel sympathy for both but didn`t just because of a few harder words that you used. As a sociological commentary, this does stand... as a song from someone as talented as you have proven yourself to be, this one doesn`t work for me as well as of your other work. Hell, to get to the point... this subject in your pen and ink should bring us to tears! If you feel as though anything we have shared about each others songs in the past is helpful and credible, MAKE ME CRY with this one... don`t just comment as I feel you have done with this. Too generic for your grasp of passion and depth of feeling... hope you understand my words and little personal challenge to who you are and what we both know you can do. write me back, a p.s. MAKE ME FEEL THE HUNGER AND BOTH OF THEIR PAIN!!! later...a

Posted by: alex clemons on 3/16/2008, 8:25 PM

I like the messsage very much.

Posted by: Charles Turner on 3/12/2008, 3:43 AM